CATEGORIES MoviesNot too many Hollywood franchises hit their stride five movies in, but in 2011, "Fast & Furious 3-6" director Justin Lin finally found the perfect formula with "Fast Five," mixing the series' trademark auto-lust with increasingly over-the-top vehicular mayhem. The result was a box office windfall, and a perfect storm of a summer movie that hit just the right tone of crowd-pleasing lunacy. So in an attempt to keep the good times rolling, "Fast & Furious 6" (or just "Furious 6," according to the movie's title card) transitions the franchise from street racing heist movie to a globetrotting action blockbuster.
After their last job left them with millions in the bank and a new addition to the family, Brian (Paul Walker) and Dom (Vin Diesel) are convinced to get back behind the wheel by special agent Hobbs (Dwayne Johnson), who needs their crew's racing prowess to stop a former SAS-operative-turned-criminal-mastermind named Shaw (Luke Evans) from building some kind of super-bomb, or something like that. In return for their help, Hobbs is willing to trade full pardons and the chance to go back home, and also reunite with one of the franchise's original parts Letty (Michelle Rodriguez) who, in addition to not being as dead as everyone thought, is now working with the enemy.
Despite upping the ante and the action, "Fast & Furious 6" isn't quite as fun as its predecessor, but any movie whose main selling point is watching a car take down a cargo plane is pretty much critic-proof. So instead of a review, I figured I'd run down some of the movie's more logic-defying elements, ranked from most believable to least.
21. "Fast Five" made over $626 million. This movie will probably make more. 20. The movie's plot is being favorably compared to a kid smashing his Hot Wheels together. 19. After six movies, Dom's motley crew of street racers has turned into "The Expendables" on wheels. 18. There's more than one team of mercenary drivers versed in "vehicular warfare" in the world. But not more than two. 17. The movie is self-aware enough to call out the fact that the bad guys are basically just evil doppelgangers of the "Fast & Furious" crew. 16. After a spring that's seen him barbeque hands to remove their fingerprints and fight alongside Bruce Willis and ninjas, "Fast & Furious 6" isn't even Dwayne Johnson's most unrealistic movie in theaters right now. 15. Out of all the soap-opera plots the filmmakers could've used to bring Letty back from the dead, Lin and screenwriter Chris Morgan chose "amnesia" over "evil twin." 14. Street racing can be used as a form of courtship. 13. Body-slamming suspects is an admissible interrogation tactic. 12. Chris "Ludacris" Bridges speaks fluent Spanish. 11. Paul Walker appears to think Interpol is pronounced "Interpool." And no one corrects him. 10. Michelle Rodriguez is still able to walk after fighting Gina Carano. 9. The filmmakers were able to find an actor that makes Dwayne Johnson look tiny by comparison: Danish bodybuilder Kim Kold. 8. Brian risks life in prison to find out this crucial bit of intel: that Shaw is well-connected and usually one step ahead of them. (Most likely because they waste time on things like this.) 7. None of the characters laugh when Hobbs explains Shaw's plan to build a technology-disabling bomb called "the Nightshade Device." 6. There's almost as much property damage in the movie's first chase through London as in the entire climax of "Fast Five." 5. A tank plows through oncoming traffic with less blood than an episode of "The A-Team." 4. In the movie's game of Rock, Paper, Scissors, Car beats both Tank and Plane. 3. The never-ending airport runway in the climactic scene appears to be longer than most highways. 2. "Fast & Furious 6" has a clearly defined theme. Yes, other than just "blow lots of stuff up." 1. Despite all of the above, I'm even more excited to see #7, thanks to the movie's post-credits coda. (Hint: STAY FOR IT.)
"Fast and Furious 6" opens in theatres on May 24.